Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
