I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
