I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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