oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
