hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
