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If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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