I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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