She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
