8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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