i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
