No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
