Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
