The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
