She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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