is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
