i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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