but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
