Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
