We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
