all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
