It's Friday. Sex?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
