did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
