why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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