just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
