no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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