We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
