I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh god it's open bar.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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