you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
