we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
