Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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