Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
