yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
