All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
