When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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