so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
