chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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