dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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