Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
