i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
