TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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