i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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