Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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