only if we run a train.
done.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
