If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you didnt know i had herpes?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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