dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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