lets start a swedish sibling band together
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
