the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
