morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm always down for nudity.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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