halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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