i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
