its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
